Equilibrium
by white lotus
Summary: The balance of Nature is restored.


_Disclaimer: All characters and concepts belong to Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli._

_Thanks to: Su-chan for some epic beta-ing and encouragement and Keat for some sound advice._

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**Equilibrium**

Fourteen years.

A funny sort of number. It sat between thirteen and fifteen – one somewhat notorious for misfortune and the other used as a substitute when ten and twenty were not at hand.

A forgotten number. Two digits that spoke little and held no significance that she could think of, no meaning, no sense. At some point she would wonder if it might have been bad luck too.

Fourteen years since she was accepted into this home; open arms, open hearts, they ushered her into warmth and safety and unconditional love. Fourteen years since he pledged himself to her, bound himself eternally to a fate in which two untainted souls could see no wrong.

For fourteen years, it had been all right.

She had thought nothing of it when she was eight, still scraping her knees in hopscotch and bringing careful, clumsy paintings home to show her Land Mother, for her contentment was complete, and in this sanctuary where she shared his bed, ate in his company and never left his side, she thought her bubble would never break.

At thirteen, she began to question. Disquieting whispers formed and took root in her mind when she could no longer sleep beside him, watch him bathe, or hold his hand. Silent creatures stalked her consciousness just beyond her bubble, like taunting shadows, threatening to sever their bond. She took her doubts to the ocean, to her Sea Father who assured her in a mournful manner it was nothing uncommon, and to her Sea Mother who held her in her gentle currents and told her to have faith, and to never, never regret.

At seventeen, she forgot. He opened his heart to her again, reached for her hand and understood at last that he needed her, almost more than she needed him. With this realisation came a reunion of intimacy, fervent, impulsive and intoxicating. She lost herself in the long, lazy afternoons of liquid amber playing patterns through the curtains and across his bare skin; in the chill of mid-winter where she sought his warmth in the darkness. And it was in his strong embrace, his gentle hands and murmured promises that she lost her questions, too.

At nineteen, the dreams began. She found herself shaken out of sleep as he tossed the covers beside her, crying her name - it was all she could do to hold him and soothe his panic with repeated reassurances that she would not leave. She couldn't - where would she go? Had he not passed the sacred test and proven his devotion to her? Why would she want to leave? He had made her human, and the balance of Nature had been restored; all was well and had ended so.

But the dreams got worse and became more frequent, and soon, not only was she leaving him, he was drowning, too, and they couldn't keep it a secret anymore. Though he resented the notion, their Land Mother insisted he see a doctor. The experience yielded little more than the fact that he was stressed - entrance examinations and countless hours of study had taken their toll.

The mild dismissal was not enough. Unease stemmed from suspicion, for she had heard of fairytales before, and she knew how those stories went: their contracts were unforgiving, unbreakable and cruel. With worry in her heart, she consulted the oceans once more, but to her confusion, they did not reply.

He began to sleepwalk. At first, just to his bedroom door before he stopped and she could lead him back to bed, but then he started to go into the hall and down the stairs. To the front door. Half-way down the precarious stone steps leading away from the house. Away from their home. Away from her bubble. Towards the ocean.

Fear took residence in her. Cycling, canoeing, walking for hours around the island - anything to tire his body, but nothing ever worked. At night they slept in each other's arms, clinging to their love in the hope that it would anchor them, yet in the end, even that failed.

On the very same day that his kiss had freed her from the ocean, Sousuke left his bed and never returned.

She had not realised until the sound of the front door roused her, and by the time she had woken her Land Mother and found him again, he was already on the rocks, walking out to sea. The roar of the surf swallowed her cries, water hampered her stride, and spindrift mingled with her tears, but he walked on, unseeing, unhearing.

Finally catching him, she seized his arms, shook him, screamed, screamed until she could feel her voice tearing broken from her throat as she pleaded, begged, tried with all her might to bring him back.

_You promised. You promised you'd protect me._

He opened his eyes and turned, her name on his lips.

And she knew it was never to be.

The wave came suddenly, heavy and fast, and when it broke upon them, he slipped from her grasp. She lunged forward, coughing up seawater as she reached for him, but in the turbulence the current was too strong; when a second wave struck, she was carried backward, and when she could see again, he was gone.

Arms found her, held her strongly and began pulling her back to shore.

She flailed desperately, reaching, searching; salt stinging her eyes, her mouth full of water as she fought like a creature enraged.

When at last she was released in the shallow tails of the tide, her strength seemed to drain away with the pull of the waves, and she simply sat, sobbing his name like he had hers, fourteen years ago.

She should have known. How foolish she was to forget, to think that it would last: The land had claimed the daughter of the ocean; it was only just that the ocean take a child of the land.

With sickening clarity, she finally understood the gravity of the decision she had made.

The balance of Nature was restored.


End file.
